Man defends himself against allegations of r@ping female friend in her Lagos home

The internet is currently on fire with the back-and-forth from two young persons trading accusations over rape.

An interior decorator who goes by the X name Chiamakababe is accusing Daniel Alamene, a voice actor, of forcefully having s3xual intercourse with her when she invited him over to her apartment in Surulere, Lagos in November 2023.

According to her, she met Daniel in a gym in July. She said he asked her out, but she declined even though she liked him as a person.

They met again in November and he collected her number and they talked over a period of time until she secured an apartment in Surulere and she invited Daniel over, since he lived in the neighbourhood.

Chiamaka said she planned for Daniel to be out of her apartment by 11 pm, but it started raining heavily as a result of which he stayed overnight.

She said they were watching a movie when Daniel started fondling her and she repeatedly told him to stop.

According to her, he would stop and then resume later until she went to bed.

Chiamaka said Daniel came to her bed where he continued to pressure her to have intercourse with her and finally had his way.

She said that it was however so painful that she had to ask him to stop and he did, only for him to resume later.

In the morning, Daniel left her apartment but avoided Chiamaka, who said she made several efforts to get him to sit with her for the two of them to discuss what he did.

She said she desperately wanted him to accept that what he did was wrong so that he could apologise and she could begin to heal.

However, Daniel continued to avoid him until they met at the gym where the said Daniel continued to put her at an arm’s length or treated her casually at best.

Chiamaka said she got fed up and walked up to him at the gym a few days ago and punched him in the face, an action that landed her in trouble with the gym management who demanded an explanation from her before taking an action against her.

It was in her response that she unveiled what allegedly transpired between her and Daniel.

She uploaded her response and it went viral, forcing Daniel to come out with his defence.

In a long series of post on X, Daniel narrated what happened from his own perspective.

He said: “Some allegations have been brought up against me. I would first like to apologize to all my friends and everyone affiliated with me for the new light this news might make you see me in. But I solely promise, that’s not me. I do not condone, support, nor engage in any form of sexual misconduct, in whatsoever form it may appear. I have witnesses who will vouch for my behavior.

I will keep this as straight to the point as possible. I met C (Chiamaka) July of this year and we had something, but it did not work out, for some reasons.

We didn’t speak again until first week November where we ran into each other. We said hi, and I texted her that evening myself. The night of the next day, which was the 4th, around 8pm while I was working, she had called me about four times and I missed all, so I had to call…

I wore a hoodie to C’s place because it was raining, and when I got there she explicitly asked me to take it off. I wasn’t wearing anything under either. We decided to make some food together, and we also discussed while we did. We then watched a movie while we ate, until we started making out consensually in the living room, and then we both decided to move to the bedroom. C was only dressed in a T-shirt, and by this time I had only my trousers on, which she told me it was okay to take off before we went to the bedroom.

Things obviously got heated in the bedroom, and we started getting intimate again. C claims that she asked me to stop, which I willfully did. I can also state that via text, C testified that I stopped when she asked me to. 

We were moving too fast in the moment, hence the pause. I understood, and so did she. Let me state that we talked for a while in between, sharing different stories about ourselves, and then we consensually started getting intimate again. This time, not a single hesitation came from either of us. I did not coerce her to have sex with me, as this was a mutual act. C claims that she went to sleep crying after, but I am surprised at this, because we cuddled all night and I did not see or hear anything of the sort.

We woke up the next morning and C went to the bathroom. I was brushing my teeth with her while she peed. C claims that it hurt for her to pee, but I stood right in front of her, and she did not make mention nor connote this to me with her gestures. All we did was talk about how close together the buildings on her street were, because we were looking out the window. I also always tend to ask people if they’re okay a lot, a habit I can’t seem to shake. I pick up on the tiniest details, even when they’re not even there. I asked her if everything was okay. She said she was fine, that it was because she hadn’t had sex in a while and she was trying to adjust. I let it be.

We went back into bed, and we started talking again, specifically about our individual inclinations to “otherworldly entities” and something about our belief in the power of the universe.

We started making out again, and then we had sex, and I will reiterate that this was also a completely consensual and mutual activity. C claims to have seen blood the night before, but it was extremely dark and I did not see such. If I did, I would have halted all actions and made sure she was okay.

That same morning, i had a deadline to meet, and I told C that I had to leave. I also had my medication to take, so I had to be home. C explicitly begged me to stay longer with her, and i told her I couldn’t, but cushioned it with the promise of coming back another day to see her. She agreed. I texted C to let her know I was home, and this was her response. (He attached the exchange).

Not once between the 4th and 5th did she make mention of me carrying out such an act that she claims I did. Let me state that I do not blame her for this, because trauma does not have a time frame. This chat is simply for emphasis’ sake. She claims that the dynamic changed after the alleged event, and that I knew she wanted to confront me (I have her on record saying this) hence me being elusive, but our chats between the night of the 4th and the night of the 5th prove otherwise. I had no motive to be elusive.

Let me also state that not once throughout this ordeal did I ever willfully set in motion any plans to come to C’s place. Every invitation was of her own volition. In all of this, I was only at her place on one occasion, which was the 4th. She invited me over again the next night of the 5th, immediately after this alleged act she claims I did, but I bailed because I had a very packed weekend. I said I would make it up to her by coming around to hers on the 8th after an event I had. She said that was fine. Yet, I still never made it to her place.

C claims that I knew of this allegation and was evasive to see her because of it, but I didn’t have the slightest clue of this matter till Saturday the 2nd of Dec, when she accused me at 2:50am. These are texts from C two to four days after the alleged “incident” happened, stating how she missed me, and wanted to be around me that night. C also claims that this was “a lie”, some sort of ruse on her part to get me to come over so that she could confront me because she thought I was being evasive about these allegations, but I’m not psychic. I process words like every normal person.

I acknowledge that there is no appropriate time frame to process trauma in whatever form it may appear, and C claims to have gaslighted herself into thinking that said incident didn’t happen (I have her on record saying all of this) and she claims she wanted to talk to me to soothe herself into thinking it didn’t happen, but is it healthy to try and replicate the same exact situation as what you claimed left you traumatized, not once but twice? If you truly wanted to confront me about this, as you so claim was your initial plan behind these texts at the time you sent them, why was us talking on neutral grounds not an option? Let me also point out that an intimate in-person conversation which I solely instigated on a later date was had, after the days these texts were sent, and at this point, I still had no clue about how she felt following that night. I will further explain this down the line.

C blocked me on all platforms on the noon of Nov 10th, because I was active on Twitter promoting my brand while her text sat unanswered.

She texted me at 12:02, and I responded at 13:59. I didn’t get a response, and the text didn’t deliver. I checked our tiktoks and I saw that her page was unavailable.

I ran into C the evening of the 10th, and I tried to say hi but she said nothing to me.

I chased her down so I could understand what I did wrong. I asked point blank, and she told me that it was because I never texted her back. I told her this wasn’t true, that my texts were left unanswered. I showed our texts as proof and we talked for almost an hour, dissecting why she blocked me because I didn’t respond in two hours. I have a habit of not replying texts while being active on Twitter, so I accepted my fault and duly apologized.

C vehemently denies that this in-person discussion did not happen, and I have at least 4 witnesses that can speak against this declaration. Why she chooses to lie about something this glaring, I do not understand. I don’t intend to try. I talked with C and tried to pacify her about her being ignored. I equally apologized for not coming over on the nights she invited me, and she forgave me for those.

Let me also state that I also brought up the night we were intimate, and I asked her, EXPLICITLY, if it was because of us being together intimately that she blocked me, which in my mind I could not regard as the reason, because the night we shared was mutually consensual, but I wanted to be thorough. She confirmed my thoughts and EXPLICITLY told me NO, that it was fine, that it was what we both wanted. Bear in mind that it was at this moment she disclosed to me that she even saw blood because she hadn’t had intercourse since June-according to her-which I earlier stated that I didn’t see, and I thoroughly apologized for that happening without my knowledge, and she said she understood.

C unblocked me willfully at 9:30pm of Nov 10th, on all platforms, and texted me HERSELF, signifying that all was forgiven, and that I had apologized for the right reasons she blocked me for in the first place, and our conversations even immediately flowed back to normal. I am not a mind reader. I take what I am given, like any normal human being.

Our conversations flowed effortlessly until the 12th of Nov. I texted her good morning at 6am, and I did not get a response until 17:29pm. She then sent me an unprecedented 11-minute vn explaining how she feels foolish and regretful for letting me back into her life, for letting me get close to her, and for disclosing her intimate secrets to me, like I didn’t equally do the same. She said she was done with me (again) and that she would “count her losses” and do what was best for her. All of these are her explicitly stated reasons for why she was booting me out.

This vn took me by surprise, and I have no idea why I received it in the first place. She then talked about her travails with her ex, which had little or nothing to do with me or why she was kicking me out of her life again. Let me state that throughout this 11-minute vn, not once did she make reference to that night, of her alleged claims against me. I like to believe that such a grave claim would take heavy precedence, and be mentioned immediately as one of the reasons why she would regret letting me back into her life, in a vn as robust as this. This was my response to the vn, because it felt like history was repeating itself, and she was simply doing away with me again.

This was the sequence of texts before she sent me that vn out of nowhere. I do not know how possible it is that a person would flip a personality switch so fast under 12 hours. I do not mind providing this vn, as I have it kept in my voice memos.

I told C that we should go our separate ways, because i felt like I was being held emotionally hostage. 

Suddenly, out of nowhere, after saying the harshest things to each other, she sends me an utterly disarming message, reeling me back into doting on her and dedicating my attention. I did not know how to process this, because we just got into a fight and I was trying to protect my feelings, and then she goes to share incredibly personal and sensitive information about her family which I am not at liberty to disclose here. I had to wait till that evening to process, before giving my response.

Again, C said that she regrets sharing sensitive information with me. Why share such staggering information to someone you regret doing it with in the first place, immediately after?

Now this next part is what I still do not understand to this day. “I know you hate me right now, but please if anyone asks about me from you, act like you don’t know me. I did something really really bad and I could go to jail for it if I am caught”, she said, out of nowhere, after days of radio silence.

C claims that I traumatized and hurt her, that I filled her with shame, yet she decided to come back to me and trust me with information again, about her doing something so bad that she might be imprisoned for it. I would very much like her to explain why this was sent to me, and what exactly it has to do with me, or why she thought it was a good idea for me to know. She said it herself that she regrets telling me intimate secrets and confiding in me, so I’m not quite sure what train of thought to align with. I was so done with the entire emotional rollercoaster so I did not pry, because it was none of my business and I was not planning on getting sucked in again, so I simply said I wouldn’t disclose.

Now fast forward to Saturday the 2nd of December. C texts me at 2:50 in the morning, telling me that she wants to talk about something: the entire point of this thread, and the first I’m ever hearing of it from her, even after the fact that I explicitly asked her about the night we were intimate, which she told me-not just once-that everything was fine.

I do not understand where this line of accusation from her is coming from, but it feels like a smear campaign and a strong-arming into obeying her every whim.

Our entire relationship was consensual, and if she is truthful to herself and all of us, she can attest to this. 

Ever since I decided to cut her off, C has tried to rope me back into her life, but I have been non-responsive.

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